[Doki Doki Literature Club] {SPOILERS} I was a fool.

So.

All I knew going in was that this was a horror visual novel.
Sure.
No problem.
I can handle that.
It’s going to be some cheesy nonsense, probably. Big deal, some moe girls are going to murder me or something. That’s fine.

beginning.jpg

Hm. The content warning is weirdly specific about depression and anxiety. Wonder if that means they’re gonna get into some Real Shit here.

…nah, they probably just have to put that there. 2017 and trigger warnings and all that. This will be fine. I’ll just play for a bit, get to when things start getting crazy, save my game and pick it up tomorrow.

WELL.

It is 2 a.m. I just got to That Thing with Sayori; I am chilled to the core, my nipples are pipped, and I’m going to have to finish this game to completion now because ain’t no way I’m going to be able to sleep on this one.

LITERALLY, as soon as she started acting weird in the clubroom, I realized I had made a mistake. But I had already started trying to get with Natsuki, my tsundere queen. I couldn’t ditch that now.

natsuki i love her3
Like, obviously I had to go after her. Right???

Every. Time. I play any kind of RPG or dating sim or visual novel. I try to double-team. And usually, the worst thing that happens is they yell at me or something.
Best case scenario, I get the Persona 4 thing going on where I can just chat up every girl in the game, regardless of whether or not they are best friends, and romance them both. (AKA, yeah, I was a hoe and I romanced Chie and Yukiko within the same month).

BUT I’VE NEVER HAD THIS HAPPEN!!!

bitch me too the fuck
I’ve made a huge mistake.

As soon as Sayori was like “yeah, I have depression you dumb idiot” I was like…shit. I can’t go back from this, can I? The main character (whomst I named Tuna, the same name I give every video game character) is a dumb idiot who doesn’t even THINK of the option, “damn let me cancel my loli baking date to hang out with my best friend who is absolutely in love with me.” But I was like, hey, it’ll be fine. This is fine. I can just like, save and go back later. Yeah.

I’m watching this baking date with Natsuki unfold and this motherfucker really sticks his goddamn finger in her mouth and I’m like…this is evil.
This is what I wanted and it is evil.
I KNEW SAYORI LOVED TUNA.
IT WAS THE CHILDHOOD FRIEND TRAP.
I SHOULD HAVE GONE STRAIGHT TO HER.

And then goddamn she tries to fuckign kissing me and OH THERE’S SAYORI BECAUSE OF COURSE. And then I’m stressing and she’s saying all her stuff and I stared at that fucking screen where you can either say “I love you” or “You’re my dearest friend” for a full fifteen minutes. And then I picked “you’re my dearest friend” and saved and decided her reaction was too depressing so I was like, “okay, I’ll just lie and say I love her and then she won’t kill herse-”

WELLLLLLLLLLL.

Incorrect! So naturally! I immediately tried to reload and
WHAT KIND OF UNDERTALE BULLSHIT

I haven’t even made it much further than that. But I hope I get to murder Monika because she told me I could save and she lied. She also did some other stuff I should be mad about, I guess, but wow, the saves? Cruel.

I gotta finish this whole game now. Guess I’ll write about the rest of my experience tomorrow. If I don’t fukcing die first.

5 thoughts on “[Doki Doki Literature Club] {SPOILERS} I was a fool.

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