7 (Totally Accurate and Legit) Predictions About Sarazanmai

There’s a lot I still haven’t had a chance to write about on this blog, and one of those things is my love for all things Kunihiko Ikuhara.

I’m a (self-proclaimed) Gay Anime Connoisseur, so naturally his works are on my radar. My Twitter handle (@lesbibearstorm) is a shout-out to Yuri Kuma Arashi, and when I started this blog my intent was actually to just write about Revolutionary Girl Utena a bunch. But then I never got my beautiful Utena Blu-Ray box-set because of shipping issues, so I never rewatched the series, and now I just post about Citrus every week instead…

Sarazanmai will totally be about…

• An academy called Shikyū Gakuen, populated entirely by bisexuals.
  The show is actually a metaphor for teen pregnancy and low birth rates in Japan. In the end, it will turn out the academy is a womb made of diamonds & that the students can only be released from the womb if they dramatically kiss their worst enemy while speeding down a highway.

  (Google Translate told me Shikyū means womb, but another website says it means “four balls,” so who knows what layer that adds to the Ikuhara mystery…)

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• Pink lesbian pandas practicing BDSM.
  …but as a statement on marriage in Japanese society. Every character confrontation is solved via an archery match, but instead of shooting arrows, they shoot tampons and pregnancy tests.

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• It’s just Twin Peaks but they’re all lesbians.
  Even the log lady’s log is a little log lesbian! Hey, Ikuhara has said he wants to work with David Lynch, and Lynch did just revive Twin Peaks…
  

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• Pansexual plates involved in a love triangle.
  Okay, so “sara” means plates in Japanese, right? And “zan” is close to “san,” which is three, and then “mai” is just the Japanese counter for flat objects…so like, what if the story is literally just about three plates in love? And having an existential crisis? And getting love advice from their little ferret squirrel friend that was featured in the second teaser? Yeah, I’ll just quit while I’m ahead with this one…

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• A highschool boy accidentally impregnates his sister’s boyfriend after sharing an indirect kiss from innocently using the same parfait spoon.
  The sister plots to kill her brother after she finds out, but instead she falls in love with her boyfriend’s mother’s mistress. Actually a satire of Buddhism. (Sarazanmai is actually largely predicted to be a story focusing on love between two men, so like, this one might be true-ish, yeah?)

  

• Revolutionary Girl Utena remake where everything is the same except that Nanami is always a cow.
  Oh, and since Sarazanmai features work from the same graphic designer that worked on Mawaru Penguindrum, it will also feature more traffic signs this time around.

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• Transgender magical girls (who are also all in love with their siblings).
  Oh, and their siblings are all penguins.

Sounds legit, right???? I mean, I would watch these shows. They’re just uh, probably not actually gonna happen. But who knows! It’s a mystery! Maybe I’ve actually been Ikuhara all along & this is the official announcement! Heh…