So You Said You Were Coming Back From A Hiatus And Then You Didn’t Post Anything: An Autobiography

Heh heh. Remember when I made a big old post about how I was determined to start writing and posting more often, and then I didn’t make a post for a month? Woopsies daisies! I tend to do that a lot, huh. Well, in my defense, it’s been a bit of a messy month. Let me get on my knees and beg for forgiveness explain.

The reason I went off the WordPress grid for a hot second there is actually kind of a happy one. I finally got my shit together and managed to go to the doctor and address some of my (mostly mental) health issues. Huzzah! The good news is, I was able to afford treatment and be put on new medication. The bad news is, that medication has made me incredibly sleepy! It’s been really tough to get through the days without passing the funk out as soon as I get home from work.

Unfortunately, these new antidepressants also, somewhat ironically, MADE ME DEPRESSED AS HECK!!!!!!!!! At least for the first week or two. There’s a pardoxical “adjustment period” with certain SSRIs that cause your brain to kind of short-circuit. It makes sense, since you’re suddenly giving your brain something that it’s always been in short-supply of – in this case, serotonin – with no warning.

So, tragically, I spent my holidays feeling anxious and sleepy, just kind of robotically doing all the family tradition dinner stuff. I really wanted to use my days off to get back in the swing of writing, but it just wasn’t in the cards. Meh. What are you going to do? That adjustment period is over now, though, and while it’s definitely too soon for the antidepressant to actually start making any meaningful difference in my life, it’s been such a relief just to know that I’m finally on one. Even if it doesn’t work, I’m on the right track and can talk to my doctor and try out something else.

In other big news, I’m looking for an apartment again. Yaaaaaaaaay! Having my own place is going to be such a big improvement on my quality of life. It’ll shorten my commute, and me and boyfriend will be much closer to each other. No more driving around between our parent’s houses! Woohoo! Theoretically, being in my own space and not feeling all claustrophobic in my tiny bedroom at my parents’ will help me be more productive and make me feel less like a shit. It’s going to be a bit hectic while I look at apartments and move-in and stuff, but it’s a happy kind of hectic, since I feel like I’m finally moving in the right direction.

Now, for my last trick, I’m hopefully going to actually get back to writing for this blog! Luckily, I have like, five drafts that I had written up from that burst of motivation I had a month ago. So hopefully it shouldn’t be too hard to get back on track. New year, new me, right? I read somewhere once that you’re actually more likely to be productive if you don’t tell anyone your plans. Apparently, if you tell people you’re going to do something, your brain prematurely starts celebrating and releases all the “yay we did it!” chemicals…and then you trick yourself into thinking you don’t need to be motivated anymore.

So, uh. Forget I said anything about making plans to write more, actually! Brain, put those chemicals back, we need to get hustling! If you’ll excuse me, I definitely WON’T be working on a backlog all afternoon. 🙂

Oh, one more thing! I switched twitter accounts! If you’re interested, follow me over at @silentbibrary! Thanks!