Aaaaaaaaaah, yes. It’s that time again. Time for the most important anime coverage of the season. It’s time for me to rank the animated eyebrows that graced your screens this winter…a few weeks late, as always. Believe it or not, I actually watched quite a few of this season’s offerings – for once, I had a decent list of brows at the ready, instead of frantically looking through shows last minute to see if there were any contenders.
Was it a season where scruffy eyebrows reigned? Or a season full of waifish thin brows? Was it one where those thick ‘n short nubs peppered the foreheads of cute anime girls? Or was it full of average arches? Click on to find out whether Winter 2020 made our eyebrow dreams come true…
10) Chiaki Hanazono (Ahiru no Sora)
These bizarre little flecks on Chiaki’s forehead aren’t perfect – personally, I think they should be thicker, and they’re a little TOO short for my tastes. Still, as a forehead coif connoisseur, I can appreciate the character design work here. Ugly as his brows may be, it certainly makes Chiaki immediately recognizable. Maybe they’ll grow into his forehead?
P.S. King, you need a better barber – that fade is atrocious.
9) Pele (Plunderer)
Much like Chiaki’s eyebrows, these are, quite frankly, ugly as hell. Why are they so long? Why are they so thin? They barely look like eyebrows – more like extra eyelids. They’re like menacing wrinkles threatening to fold upon his forehead.
And yet…and yet…I cannot look away. Like a trainwreck on the temples, there’s something oddly alluring about these twiggy little strands. I have to commend Pele here for straddling the line between “bold choice” and “disaster” in such a way, even if it is erring more towards disaster. Lay off the tweezers, bud, and maybe you’ll rank higher next season.
8) Banda-kun (Darwin’s Game)
Is it cheating to include a mascot head? Maybe! But how could I ignore those hunks of felt above this panda’s eye-holes?!?
Darwin’s Game was lacking in many areas, and the fact that these fake furry eyebrows were the only ones I found worthy of praise is telling of this series’ quality…poor pacing I can forgive, but a lack of cute girls with cute brows content? Might as well just cancel the whole death game. Where are the stakes when everyone getting murdered has shitty eyebrows? Am I supposed to CARE about average haired cannon fodder??
7) Miyako Kono (22/7)
First of all, before I talk about the brows – I would like to boldly declare that 22/7 was a good idol anime. We all thought it would be a shitpost of a show, and while it kind of was, it brought some genuinely heartfelt moments. We appreciate 22/7 in this house.
Best of all, it brought some eloquent and striking nubs. Look at the shape of Miyako’s eyebrows here. They are thick, they have an excellent length, and best of all, they are expressive. The RANGE that these brows lend to our Kansai Queen…! My only qualm here is that they seem a little inconsistent – even throughout these screenshots they seem to vary in thickness. The AD might think the average viewer won’t notice eyebrow continuity but I AM NOT THE AVERAGE VIEWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) Cinnamon (Oda Cinnamon Nobunaga)
EVERY NOBUNAGA INTERPRETATION HAS GOOD EYEBROWS. I know that Americans like me generally do not give a shit about a single Nobunaga anime, but we must at least respect the absolute beasts that adorn this emperor pup’s face. They are jagged, grisly, angry…and yet, they have a certain softness to them. Yes, it’s a rugged softness that can only be achieved by slapping Oda Nobunaga’s eyebrows onto a dog.
5) Tsubame Mizusaki (Keep Your Hands off Eizouken!)
Keep Your Hands off Eizouken! was my favorite series of the season, hands down. The whimsical animation style of Masaaki Yuasa has never disappointed me, and the eyebrows featured in Devilman Crybaby were every bit as glorious as the ones featured in his most recent work.
Tsubame’s eyebrows have that excellent incline – a perfect ratio from outer to inner arch. At times, you can see the little creases of passion crinkle upon her forehead. A character bursting with as much inspiration and intensity as Tsubame needs a good pair of firey forehead fluffs. Would we be able to feel her passion the same were they the barren, balding brows of Pele?
4) Kanchal (Interspecies Reviewers)
While I did not watch Interspecies Reviewers, I did go through the list of all the characters IN Interspecies Reviewers and review their eyebrows. That’s probably the same as the full experience. That’s what this anime is about, right? Scoring different species’ eyebrows?
Honorable mentions to Ginny, Love Net, and Bi Bananan – their foreheads sported some excellent fuzz as well, but Kanchal’s expressive blue brows really stole my heart. Did he win the review?? Is there a winner in this show??
3) Mai Inose (Koisuru Asteroid/Asteroid In Love)
I really, truly believe that the power of the chunky compact eyebrow is the key to moe. Look no further than the likes of Tsumugi – a CGDCT show is not complete without at least one girl with the nubs.
This is what I’m in the eyebrow review business for, folks. These cuties right here. The arch is subtle, yet refined. The triangular peaks soften to lovely little logs when Mai gets angry – thus perfectly capturing the pure, rosy essence of the angry anime girl. Because Mai’s blonde beauties grace the screen of Koisuru Asteroid, this anime has rights.
2) Kikila (Somali and the Forest Spirit)
Now this anime gets it. If you’re going to have otherworldly beings, they better have some otherworldly wool.
These bad boys on Kikila’s fuzzy forehead are not only thick, they’re unique. Like fibrous flames, they warm this brow critics’ heart. Truth be told, in any other season these statuesque nubs would be #1…but…
1) Aoi Inuyama (Heya Camp)
THE EYEBROW PRINCESS HAS RETURNED THANKS TO HEYA CAMP!! That’s right, this puts Aoi Inuyama as the two-time winner of seasonal anime eyebrows. And for good reason! These are the definition of the nubs I crave. The rounded edges…the mountain peaks…they are absolute units. The way they peek-a-boo through her hair shows that the character designer understands exactly how important these eyebrows are: they know that they should NEVER be obscured from the yearning eyes of the audience.
There they are, my professional breakdown of Winter 2020’s eyebrows. However, no list is complete without a brief honorable mentions list. This time around, let us honor the browless beasts that graced our screens:
Kokiria (Somali and the Forest Spirit)
This Skeleton Bitch Who Has No Eyebrows And Therefore Has No Rights (Interspecies Reviewers)
Were there any good eyebrows I missed? Have you seen any glorious brows recently? Please share – this is my niche, and I need more people to fuel my weird eyebrow obsession!!!!!!!!!!