Well, well, well. Here we are, on a fine whatever-day-I-schedule-this-to-post. And here I am, trying to shit out some content. I have a giant list of things I’d like to write, but they all require research or actual critical analyses or watching something and boooooooooooooooooooooooo I don’t want to do real work right now! But I do want to write. So here I am. Writing. A thing. I guess.
I’ve made a resolution to post more often in the new year. I’ve burnt myself out in the past by exclusively planning posts that end up being suuuuper time-consuming. So part of this resolution is to kick back and write some fluffy, easy posts every once in a while. Maybe a few quick listicles now and then.
…Then that word listicle triggered something in my brain. LISTICLE. It makes me think of shitty BuzzFeed content, or those websites that make you click through penis enlargement ads before you can find out which 90’s celebrity you are based on your zodiac sign’s mother’s birthday.
Most of all, it reminded me of…SP00N UNIVERSITY.
I hope they don’t find this post. I’m going to replace the OOs in sp o on with 0s so that they can’t find me through the wonders of SEO. I don’t know what I’m afraid of, exactly. It’s not like they’re my employer. I just don’t want them to, like, bitterly delete my wonderfully trashy listicles.
Let me explain. In college, I studied television and film. At first, I thought I wanted to make television and film, but then I realized I mostly just wanted to write about television and film. I expressed this to a roommate, who then excitedly told me that she had found a hot new website called Sp00n University. Basically, it’s a website that gets college students to churn out food related content for ~experience~. You know, like an unpaid internship. Or as I like to call them – scams!
In order to write for them, we had to start a chapter at our college. We even had to do a little interview over the phone in order to be in charge of the chapter. We
forced invited our friends to join, and we were on our way. Little did we know, though, these guys at Sp00000n were going to request A WHOLE FRIGGIN’ LOT OF CONTENT. Essentially, they wanted us to treat it like a whole ass job. A whole ass job where we didn’t get paid nor did we get any school credit.
So we panicked. We panicked and wrote some absolute trash, and then we quit because it was dumb as hell. Wanna read some of my trash?